As with anything, it can sometimes be difficult to anticipate exactly how a homeshare arrangement will go until you’re already in it. Screening potential housemates is a great way to increase your chances of success, though nothing is one hundred percent guaranteed. In those cases where your homeshare isn’t meeting your expectations, recognizing when it’s time to quit is very valuable.
Quitting Is a Last Resort
Of course, you want your home share to be successful. That’s why you’ve arranged it in the first place! Cohabiting presents unique challenges which can sometimes be difficult to overcome, which is why it’s important to have a plan in place address those challenges before they become real problems. Be realistic – home sharing is a great way to enrich your life and fulfill your needs, though it doesn’t come without its fair share of work. Try these tactics before giving up:
Conduct House Meetings
House meetings are a great tool to ensure you and your housemate maintain strong, healthy communication. Don’t wait until things are going downhill – establishing regular house meetings when things are running smoothly allows you to anticipate problems before they arise, and squash them before they become a real nuisance.
Use these meetings to discuss what’s working, what can be improved, and what’s going on in general with each housemate. This is a chance for you and your housemate to bond, too! An informal meeting of this sort allows you to let go of any power dynamics and focus on common solutions, person to person. Grab a cup of tea or whatever you fancy, and have a nice, calm chat with your housemate.
It’s generally advised to begin your home share with weekly or biweekly meetings, as the initial transition period is likely to prompt more questions and concerns between you and your housemate. As things settle and you become more comfortable sharing a home, regular monthly meetings are still a great way to check in on one another and make sure everything is going smoothly.
Introduce a Mediator
If you and your housemate encounter problems that you just can’t seem to resolve, it may be time to bring in a third party to mediate your discussion. Adding a neutral third person can help you to remain realistic and solution-focused, allowing you and your housemate to have an equal voice and arrive at a mutually agreed upon resolution!
Your mediator should be somebody neutral, with no particular bias toward the homeowner, or one housemate over another. This can sometimes be tricky to find organically, as it’s difficult to find somebody willing to mediate who has an equal relationship with each housemate. HomeShare Alliance provides mediation services just for this purpose, to help your homeshare succeed when you hit a rough patch!
Knowing When to Quit
Sometimes, even your best efforts aren’t enough. Knowing when to quit a homeshare arrangement that isn’t working can save you a lot of unnecessary effort and frustration and get you back on track to finding someone or something else that works better for you!
Maybe you’ve used mediation service and arrived at a resolution that your housemate isn’t keeping, or maybe you couldn’t find a resolution at all. As long as you’ve exhausted every reasonable course of action to help revive your home share arrangement, there’s no shame in moving on. You need a housemate with whom you can compromise to find solutions that work for everybody involved!
If you’re struggling to overcome an obstacle in your home share or you’re wondering if it may be time to move on, reach out to us here at HomeShare Alliance. Our team of experts can help guide you toward a solution!